While that may cause some of you to recoil, I’d like to explain why, in my opinion, that’s the most empowering phrase in the English language.
How different could your life be if you approached every situation you found yourself in with that assumption? Now I certainly don’t mean to extend that line of thought to those who are victims of crimes, but rather those who consider themselves a victim of “circumstance”. Those who would play the blame game for the situation they find themselves in.
We all know those people. Nothing is ever their fault. I have to go into debt for a car because… I mean I have to get to work right? I can’t find a job because (insert current president’s name) is ruining (insert your town’s name). There are just no jobs to be found. I have to keep going out to restaurants and taking vacations while I’m deeply in debt because I mean…I need to live right? Kids can’t survive without vacations, can they? I can’t own stocks because that’s only for rich people. The little man just can’t get ahead in (insert the current year). People from my neighborhood, of my skin color, with my last name, or from my school just can’t win today. Not in today’s America. We all know those people, and for the most part you just can’t stand them. I hate to break it to you, but if you don’t know anybody like that… it’s probably you.
Those things are not reasons for losing with money. Those aren’t reasons for having a life that you’re not proud of. All of those things I just listed, all of those phrases you’ve heard a thousand different ways from just as many people, are just excuses.
What if instead of making excuses you just made sh*t happen?
What if instead of looking for a reason for everything that happens to you, you assumed you were the reason? What if you completely rephrase the question? What if you became a person that things didn’t “happen to”? What if you were a person who happens to things and not the other way around? What if instead of waiting for good things to “happen” to you, you were the positive influence, the “good” thing that happens to other people? Destroying the defeatist/victimhood mentality that has become so pervasive in our culture today is the first and the most important step to getting yourself into a position to win. Not just win with money but to win with anything. To give yourself a sense of purpose.
Always start off asking yourself, “How is this my fault?”
I can say that nothing has been a more powerful force in my life than making that simple change in my thinking. Next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel like something has just been dumped in your lap, like the deck is just stacked against you, don’t ask, “Why is this happening to me?” Ask yourself, “What did I do to put myself in this situation? What did I do to cause this? What could I have done to prevent this?”
Take back the locus of control in your own life. Think of what you’re really saying when you blame the circumstances, situation, or other people for where you are in your own life. You’re giving outside forces complete control over your life. You’re saying that you are powerless to take action in your own life. You are ceding control of your own fate to outside forces. Take that control back. You are in control of your life. You have all the power to decide what kind of life you are going to live.
You are not a victim, and everything is your fault.